the other

I can't stand mediocrity in myself. What is it in me that drives me to something beyond? something more? something other than this? I am a forward thinker - sometimes too much of one always thinking ahead and not paying enough attention to the present. Maybe it's the oldest child syndrome - the over achiever. Who knows. It's really frustrating when the present consumes my time such that i can't devote energy towards the future. Goals are 90% good to have. The other 10% of the time they are a reminder of what you can't ever seem to get to. I have to have a lot of patience to be me. Otherwise I am always frustrated. I am only really happy when I am working with 100% devotion time and energy towards one of my desired accomplishments...this can't be terribly healthy. Lord, help me to be content in the present paying attention to the now. Yeah, right now.

je suis tres fatigue

Ugh! I am tired this morning. Can't...get...going. Unable ...to ...move. Must keep ....head...upright.